Return Aix-Marseille-Brussels-Dulles-Reagan-Louisville
The alarm went off at 03:30 and we brewed some instant coffee and got our bags ready for departure. We were down in the lobby breakfast nook at 04:00 where we knew the hotel night manager had prepared a small breakfast for us. Sure enough, we had some nice chopped fruit, pastries and coffee as strong as a mule’s kick. The taxi was supposed to pick us up at 04:30, but that did not happen.
At 04:35 the night manager called the number of the taxi company and was in turn told to call the number of the taxi driver at home. He woke him up. When the driver appeared about fifteen minutes later, we both noticed that he either had a very bad cold or he was using cocaine. He started out by going the exact wrong way. We had a rather erratic ride to Marseille airport, but arrived in time and in one piece.
Entering the airport we searched in vain for the United Airlines check in. We finally asked another airline rep and were told that United did not exist. So then we had to figure out that it was Brussels Air, acting as a code-share, that was actually taking us to Brussels. Forgive us, it was very early and we had just had a really rough start.
The 07:00 flight on an Avro RJ100 from Marseille to Brussels went off without a hitch, and we did have a fantastic sunrise en route. We encountered the most bizarre cabin crew logic when they served complementary beverages. Louise asked for coffee and was in turn asked if she was taking an international flight, which she was. In that case, Louise was allowed to also have a free bottle of water. When this same attendant asked if David was travelling with Louise, the affirmative response revoked the free water. If travelling together, we could only have the free coffee. What team of idiots thinks up these rules?
En route Louise started twisting our two plastic coffee stirrers together and came up with a beautiful variation on the Mobius Loop that we may well be able to fashion into a clay creation at Arrowmont this summer. We took macro photos for the maquette.
In Brussels we looked at the board and saw that our next gate was at the furthest distance from where we had disembarked. It seems to be a Flat A*** Rule that we always have to go on a boot camp forced march in airport terminals. Fortunately, we had landed at 09:00 and the next flight was booked for 10:15 hrs.
But, to get there we had to go through two separate passport checks and faced an arbitrary second security check. So, we missed an opportunity to grab a snack. Outside it was a cloudy bright 7 Celsius with spotty showers.
When we did not board from gate T-72 at 10:15 we started to get the inkling that something was wrong. In fact, boarding for our flight from Brussels to Dulles, Washington DC, was delayed by about half an hour on the pretext that the aircraft cleaning was taking longer than expected. When we boarded, nothing happened. Looking out the cabin window, streaked with rain, we could see that the baggage bays were wide open. There was no activity on the apron.
Finally, after about an hour the Captain of the Airbus A330-300 came on to admit that there was a wildcat baggage handling strike and that the baggage had not been loaded. The bags were loaded in the pouring rain at 12:15 hrs – remember to line your suitcase with plastic for such an eventuality. To pass the time, we filled out the mandatory US Customs and Immigration form – they were never collected when we landed in the United States.
We did not take off until 12:45 and by then we had sensed that we had a connecting flight problem. As mollification, we were served a very nice hot sauce chicken and beer for lunch.
It was a very long 9.5 hour flight. Between us we watched five movies – “The Fault in Our Stars”,
“The Judge”, “Person of Interest”, “The Exotic Marigold Hotel” and an episode of “The Middle”.
In the afternoon the crew gave out a frozen chocolate ice cream with a chocolate coating on a wooden stick. Somebody in the dry cleaning industry designed it so that the chocolate chipped off and stained your shirt!
At 20:45 Brussels time the crew gave us a pizza-type wrap and we begged another beer. At 20:55 we saw Manhattan Island pass on the starboard wing.
We landed at Dulles at 21:45 and we thought we were OK. It turned out that the cabin crew announced the wrong Washington time as 15:45, when it was in fact 16:45 local. We had a flight to Louisville at 17:20 hrs.
We had to get into one of those lumbering elevated people movers that took us halfway around Dulles to get to the United Airlines gates. But, once disembarked from the Trojan Horse, we had to go through US Customs and Immigration and then another security check. It was a very slow process and our blood pressure was up.
Then we found out that we actually had to cover a huge distance, taking a train en route, to get to the gate for Louisville. We ran and missed the plane by about five minutes. We were directed to Customer Service, where we had to wait about fifteen minutes to even speak to an agent. The first thing we found out was that it was not United’s problem as the Brussels baggage strike was the cause. There was no other flight from Dulles to Louisville until the next day.
But, the Customer Service rep said that we could take a chance and book a flight out of Reagan National in Northern Virginia. We would have to pay thirty-nine dollars to take the shuttle. We grabbed it.
Of course we had to run back half the distance we had already traced in order to even get to the shuttle booking desk. When got there the clerk looked a bit skeptical that we could make it on time, but his buddy said it was OK. We paid and ran outside to find the shuttle. There were only two seats left and it was about to depart. David’s bad leg collapsed when he tried to board, but Louise pushed from behind.
It was a nerve-wracking trip because the shuttle soon ran into the late afternoon traffic jams of the Beltway. En route Louise tried to use the cell phone to check in for the next flight using the code given us. It refused to work.
Thinking ahead, Louise used the cell phone to call the limo company in Louisville to explain that we would not be arriving in Louisville as booked. She rebooked for our new arrival time. We passed Arlington National Cemetery and then the Pentagon. It was a bit of a relief when we saw the bronze statue of Ronald Reagan welcoming us to his airport.
We got to the United check in but the code would not work on the automated system. There was only one human on duty and he could not make it work either, so we had no boarding passes. Then he noticed it was a US Airways flight, even though all the paperwork was on United stationery. So then we asked where the US Airways gate was – you guessed it – at the far end of the terminal. We were able to get boarding passes using the code!
Then we had to go through another security check before we finally got to the gate. We had about fifteen minutes in hand so we celebrated with a seven dollar beer.
Right on time, we were taken by people mover from the terminal to our tiny Canadair CL-65 Air Wisconsin plane. Shortly after takeoff, we were looking down on the Lincoln Memorial, The Mall and the Washington Monument. David last saw them in June,1974 on a US Staff College trip.
It was a short flight on a clear night with millions of light bulbs winking at us. A lawyer behind us and his new lady friend talked non-stop to make sure we did not fall asleep. At 21:30 we landed in Louisville. We walked to the baggage claim area and were absolutely astounded to see our two bags outside the baggage office. Once we showed ID, our bags were released and we walked out to the limo.
Vinnie the driver was waiting for us and drove us to Louise’s home. As soon we got into the house we celebrated our twenty-three hour ordeal with a bourbon (David is a convert) and a scotch (Louise has Scottish roots).
We slept like logs.
The Travels of David Ironsides 